Katie Polowski is really, really tired of getting teased by the stupid kids at her school. Katie's been going to school for her whole freaking life, and these moron people just can't drop it that she's Polish. Ok fine, so her family, like 5 generations ago, came over from Poland. So fucking what? She's way smarter than any of the retards in her history class. Half those idiots think Vietnam was a country Germany invaded in World War II. I mean, how fucking stupid can you be?

Katie is sick of her last name, because so many kids tease her about it. She knows how to screw in a lightbulb all by herself, thank you very much! If she could pick a last name, she would pick something normal, something American, something like Thomas or Franklin or Washington. American Presidents always had good names, and they probably never got made fun of for them. Who makes fun of a president to his face? Katie knows she will never be president, and not because she is a woman, but because of her last name.

People with ethnic last names never get elected to anything important in America - even Condoleeza (who came up with that one?) Rice has a normal American sounding name, even if it's also an asian food. Katie hated it when substitute teachers taught classes at school, because they always called her full name. As if she didn't know her name already. It was bad enough to be reminded of it in the first place, but then most of the subs messed it up too. Katie had decided that next time a sub called her Katie Pole-wos-key she was just going to walk out of the room and straight home. Why her parents couldn't have changed their name to something regular was beyond her. Really, they were just something else.

Katie's troubles with her parents had started when she was about 13, the first time she got caught watching porn up in her friend Michelle's room. It's not like they were doing anything besides watching it, and besides, Michelle had found it in her parent's bedroom - how come they were allowed to watch it and she wasn't? Ever since that day, Katie's mother had been such a total bitch. Sure, sometimes she would calm down a little and they could have a halfway civil conversation, but it always ended up with her mom attacking her and bitching about the way she dressed or how she wasn't going to be allowed to drive if she didn't bring her grades up.

Neither of her parents seemed to understand that a car was exactly what she needed to bring her grades up - she would be able to stay at school as long as she needed to finish assignments, she could drive herself to the library, and they would always have something to take away whenever they decided she did something wrong. Plus, it's not like she had gotten pregnant like some of the girls she knew in school. Katie's parents never caught her with drugs, she never stayed out late without an excuse, and she hadn't been caught sneaking out for almost 6 months. Katie thought she was doing pretty well, compared to the morons at school who couldn't even pronounce her last name.

If her parents didn't get her this car, there is no way she would be happy and productive at school, no way she would ever have a job, and no way she would ever get out of this shitty town. If there was one goal in her life, it was to get the fuck out of frowntown.